FT. WORTH, TX—Explaining that the costs of the service have grown too high in recent years, American Airlines announced Tuesday that it will no longer offer free cabin pressurization to passengers starting March 15. “Unfortunately, to stay competitive as a legacy carrier in today’s air travel market, it no longer makes economic sense for us to provide breathable air at altitude,” said American Airlines CEO Doug Parker, noting that despite the cutbacks, air pressurization would still be available… (www.theonion.com) 기타...
A survivable environment with oxygen is probably the only item that can't be separated for additional income and could always be expected with a base airfare. There is no way to more efficiently provide such an environment than for the airline to provide it for all pasengers.
The pilots will go before the oxygen. Passengers will have a choice of flights with or without human pilots long before having the option for flying without oxygen.
Flights without oxygen would be an entirely differnr beast. It would be a way for society to deal with overpopulation and astronomical healthcare costs.
I've figured the future will include passenger sedation and loading them as cargo into unpressurized aircraft. Can stack them in tubes more efficiently if they get rid of those pesky seats and drink carts.
You need enough oxygen to support life. If the experience leaves one feeling rested and energized, it could be marketed as a lie flat sleep spa experience.
The FAA 90-second evacuation requirement would be the only stumbling block to such a novel service.
Easy. The robot up front just hits the big red Eject Pods button and out they go. Maybe little parachutes on each one in case we need to evacuate at altitude.
You do know that the 'robot' up front won't actually be separate from the airplane computers. So the entire plane will ve among the most advanced robots.
So when the robot plane excretes passengers in tubes through hole(s) in the bottom, the symbolism is quite rich indeed. Think of the similarity to a bird, dive bombing onto whatever is below: your car, your shirt. Just on a much larger scale.
Wrong way to look at it. The trick here is let the PAX decide for themselves if they want O2 or not. They can bring their own O2 or buy pricey Tokyo style O2 onboard provided by AA as a convenience offering.
That would be awful. My feet are already cold when I fly, imagine when the air is thin O2 or not! May as well go back to the DC3! My knee! Osteoarthritis, my ears, crying babies from the low air pressure! Poor people suffocating! Beer constantly foaming over! "I gotta get outta here! I gotta get outta here!" (As the people line up....)
Easy, use gravity vortex sillyons to create a gas barrier. It's been made practical by Elon Musk using his new Flydox technology. It invisibly draws back atmospheric gases on one side thereby allowing people to pass through unimpeded. Brief passenger discomfort occurs in the form of a mental image that there are onions lurking about.
Dennis...I don't have clue what you just said but it sounds like a winner! If you set the pressurization to 14,000...the "Peeps" are going to list one way or another. Lights out and no inflight service!
I hear the new a320neos and the 737ng have wind down windows just to help this take hold in the marketplace. First Class will of course have electric windows and perches for migrating geese.
I was once on a flight in which, as we were taxiing to the re runway, some ladies in the back of the plane demanded oxygen. No, they didn't have a medical issue. They... just wanted some oxygen. The FA informed them that the aircraft is not an oxygen bar, they raised hell, and we had to taxi back to the gate. I almost missed my connector at DCA.
Delta is starting a new service called home delivery. If you live near the airport or the approach path for an extra fee they will allow you to jump from the rear of the aircraft, parachutes are not included on the fee but available for a small fee.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, you are funny. And the American also said: "Parker added that the company is also planning to discontinue complimentary landing gear on flights under four hours." Sounds like an advance April 1st joke!
Immediate reaction: head shake, followed by face palm.
'Journalism' I though*, 'what is it coming to'
'They'll print anything nowadays.'
Then after that split second of disappointment, I notice theonion.com as the source. A smile took over my face.
Still now I chuckle thinking about the story.
* I couldn't believe that any journalist could believe such a story. With the quality of some stories being published lately, it was possible but horrific. That it turns out to be from one of the wittier outlets of satire today makes it all better. At least the journalists didn't believe the story as they made it up. I hope too many readers aren't mistaken by the article. Well maybe a few. Just to make things intereting.
Sad part is that if he thought he could get by with it, he would. LOL. Let's don't give him any ideas but I guess, according to Cole's post here below, he has already seen it, LOL
I've noticed over time, you've really got it in for Parker. Do you have a history with him? Or is it that you're a fan of Tom Horton? (Just being nosy.)
Personal history with Tom Horton. I know Parkers background as they both started with AA about the same time and worked alongside each other. Horton helped Parker do the America West thing and anything he could along the line to help him. Parker just backstabbed him good, making the end run on the merger and gaining control. I don't like backstabbers. Sad part is though, he might actually pull it off. I have to give the devil his due. Even Jesus said render to Caesar that which is his.
I think a part of America has lost their sense of humor. Very sad. Maybe if people would include laughter in their lives, society wouldn't be so "snarkie". Lighten up people. AA & USAir merger is just the sign of the times. Those who worked within the aviation industry back in the late 70's and beyond, saw these mergers happening way before the word "merger" was in the companies vocabulary. Thanx to Prez. Carter and deregulation...you are now looking at, what use to be a class act, is now a beautiful bus with wings on it and unfortunately the quality of people follow the "low-life" atmosphere and want more bang for their buck. Well...it's not going to happen. Those days, when people respected each other, said please and thank you are a thing of the past. Not coming back. That said, we have to find humor in the industry. Makes the experience abit more bearable!
The really sad thing is that this could very well be one of those Onion articles that becomes reality, like five blade razors and putting bullies in therapy. Lol
Not to sure about that.. It may have come true.. Just the wrong airline... SWA tried it on 2 of their 737's... One was in KCRW and the other in KPHX. Right off hand, I am not sure if they have experimented with this program beyond those 2.
I can see a credit card reader next to the little air nozzle. The attendant call button costs $0.75 per use. You'll need Visa or Master Card to unlock your tray table.
I think the cabin on most aircraft is around 8K. If the airlines raise the cabin to 11K, the savings would be Huge! The airplanes would last longer due to less flexing, the planes would weigh less at cruise thereby saveing a lot of fuel, and the pax would be less active due to lack of O2. OK, now it is up to the FAA. Now the Joke is on Us! For real
You have got to be kidding... FlightAware had this a lead story in their newsletter which I just received! Ha! Someone's gonna be getting a whoopin' at FA today....
It's about bloody time! These passengers think they can just expect to breath when they get up in altitude. What do they think this is, a complimentary service!! Pay for your oxygen, you freeloading bastards!!
There are some people out there who really may believe that.... Find any one story out there, and you can find someone to believe it... Over in Asia (forget which country) last year a newspaper picked up an Onion News item, and republished it as being real.
Yes. Some reporter. Then there will be protests, and claims of racism and/or prejudicial treatment of the poor who cannot afford to fly Business or First Class. Of course Congress will talk of perhaps supplementing the airfares of those passengers who are disadvantaged....
It will be a double laugh at the government in that case, because you can't just elect not to pressurize coach, you have to either pressurize the whole cabin or none of it.
Actually, the President is currently working on a new proposal that will provide every American citizen with Federal subsidies for their airline tickets. The name of his new proposal? "Obamafare"
Al Sharpton will claim it's racist. Some dimwit will demand an investigation (Pelosi) Boehner will weep at the thought, and we will all have the chance to laugh at our politicians once again!
I know it is hard news to break... But it sounds like someone got one over on you... Don't feel bad... You aren't alone... there are other people of believed it as well.
Can someone pass Mark a glass of Cold Water... We may loose him on this one..
This no doubt an attention grabbing farce designed to titillate the minds of the uneducated and misinformed. Perhaps soon we will be able to rent pressure suits during check-in the way we rent bowling shoes. Better yet, let's retrofit the entire commercial fleet to accommodate variably pressurized passenger compartments. That makes perfect economic sense! Why not eliminate checked baggage completely and install additional seating in the cargo hold. Hey there's an idea! We can increase seating and expedite pax loading by supplementing airbridges with cargo conveyor belts! Also completely eliminates lost baggage issues! I'm a budding genius!!!
Uhh. I think this was my point. It was meant to be satirical. Sorry to go over your head. Regarding your statement referring to me as a 'fool'? You would be better served to keep comments regarding the intelligence of others to yourself, at least until you have thoroughly evaluated your own. People who propagate negativity without thought are generally unhappy people with more enemies than friends.I have many friends. I could say more, but my time is more valuable than to waste my words on someone who replies with 7. And one word with actually more than one syllable. Go away pal.
Nope.. Not at all... I was complimenting them... A lot of planes can't say that... I love the DC3's... They are great beautiful planes... I bet there will not be an Airbus flying period after 47 years much less being in revenue service...
A healthy pilot can't fly at 65 but a plane can keep going as long as it's maintained. We better hush though or the feds will want to put an age limit on airframes if they run out of something to do. They implemented the 1500 hr/ATP rule didn't they. LOL
Personally, they changed their minds at 60. I think they ought to lift the age limit altogether so we could compete with the planes. LOL. The BUFF is up there in that crowd too.
Makes a lot of sense to me. As long as the pilots have air, who cares if the passengers pass out. It will make the flights a little more bearable. Outstanding business decision
Eliminating cabin heat from engine bleed air would be a cost saver and would reduce oxygen demand as the passenger body core temperatures decline. Additional revenues could be obtained from sleeping bag, felt boot, hot water bag rentals etc. George Groh
This from Tom Larson;see now this is brilliant, it will be an added convenience to the flyers because the trips will seem much shorter while you are passed out. AND it will save money because there will be no need for complimentary beverage service or the need for in-flight reading material.
Hey why not..if you do not wear a suit or dress you don't board the flight. Could you imagine a meal of steak and salad on a flight from Chicago to New York in cabin class. I was very young when this happened and I can say "those were the days" in my younger days I used to look down on the ramp and wave to the Ramp Rats" it was a great feeling for one of those guys to wave back. Go forward 30 years I was the guy on the ramp who would look up and wave to the children. The only thing I could not do was go up the the gate and ask the parents " Can I bring your child on board to let them meet the flight crew". Those were the days......
Come on ! Who's kidding who ? FAA regulations require oxygen over 10,000 feet even in private aircraft. AA isn't going to jeapordize losing more passengers than it already has by doing something more stupid. AA"s most saving factor is that they fly mostly Boeing aircraft, however, now with the merger they have too associate with "airjunk" !
I can just see it. Ryanair and Spirit doing away with pressurization and charging for personal breathing apparatus or you can bring your own free of charge.
It is True! The aircraft already recirculated a lot of air to the pax. Reusing air is a real cost saver! Please note that the flight crew get 100% air. Hum....Maybe that can be changed too. :)
The Onion does not matter... They are April 1st every day of the year... Here is another one they put out that I think is one of the best... http://www.theonion.com/articles/florida-to-experiment-with-new-600lever-voting-mac,29699/
This would certainly fit Ryanair's reputation but if you look at the trend seen at all airlines it is merely what someone could imagine as the peak of ordeals the airlines are using to press even more money out of their passengers.
Next I heard the next design from Airbus is a vertical and horizonal seating system with the seats replaced with gurneys stacked three hight allowing a multilayered experience to your travel. Called slumber class, you get to sleep through the whole flight abit less exhausted (not true in all passengers) when combined with the optional thin air club...
May be carry your own water, snacks and food and so on, and claim hefty discounts ! Even own crockery and cutlery including own coffee maker and tea kettle ! Just pay up for plug in.
I greatly appreciate well-done parody and satire. However, I hope another venue is sought to distribute this fine piece of work. It just might give "the suits" an idea.
SOURCE OF STORY IS???? "THE ONION" SATIRICAL MAG FROM SOMEWHERE IN EASTERN USA...HARVARD? LMAO!!! THIS IS A GOOD ONE!! IMAGINE IF PILOTS BLACKING OUT WITH NO OXYGEN? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!
LOL, but when you think about it, it would be going the way of life rafts, floor lighting, the four engine requirement for over-ocean travel, etc., etc.
Hey...on the same line...check out what the"Onion" posted on Feb 19th! "Olympic Figure Skater falls thru the Ice"! Don't blink...it's a 9 second video. Hysterical!
Well, airlines are about to start doing it......... it wouldn't surprise me if airlines start making an additional charge for us passengers using "clean, breathable" air onboard flights!
“While we regret any altitude sickness, blood problems, dimmed vision, or hyperventilation that may result from air pressure less than a third normal levels, we remind our customers that such effects will diminish as soon as the aircraft descends below 10,000 feet.” How incredible reassuring!!!! I suggest the airline takes over a big funeral home as business is sure to increase everytime a flight of theirs lands and THAT will surely cushion their coffers remarkably. Or perhaps if this measure is implemented, AA should only fly below 10.000 feet.
What a funny article I just about fell out of my seat after reading this nonsense. Hypothetically, AA must be planning on flying at or below 12,000 feet. I could only imagine flight rage between GA and commercial pilots. Fly by moons followed by bird (sounds like fun). Maybe the occasional Cessna 172 cutting off a 777 or a sneak up flyby on a GA by a commercial plane. Thanks for the good laugh.
First it was cutting bereavement fares and now this. With this policy in place you can literally take a flight to visit with your deceased love one as long as you pay full fare. I knew it was going to be all down hill after the marriage of AA with US Airways.
Totally ridiculous report. There is no way this can be done. Ive flown for the airlines for 30+ years. The reporters should report on something that they understand
I guess the 10,000 ft. criteria may be dangerous in some cases, especially for those who are heart patients and/or suffer from some kind of breathing ailments ! And they are not sick enough to be denied to fly on medical grounds. Technically , they can , or may be they do , cease to pressurise once the bird has descended below the cabin altitude level !
However, Parker added that after further evaluation the increased turnaround time from having to remove over 200 bodies did not make the idea economically feasible and it was abandoned.
OTOH, they could retrofit using the technologies perfected since the 40's which were used to good effect on the B-17, B-24, B-29, and still used on the B-1, B-2 & B-52. Come to think of it, racking the walk-on cargo could improve capacity....
More likely pilots will be replaced by empty cockpit chairs in airliners run by computers. To keep up passenger morale, however, a stand-up comic can be purchased for tourist class and a Late Night comedian can be had for extra expenses in First and Business Classes. (Pls note: tourist class not capitalized).
Oh, I'm sure they can over come that little problem too, the Operation Manager could remotely do that from his office... since he programs the route prior to the flight....BTW, I didn't mention that the FMC could auto land certain types of aircraft as well. Would need someone up there to mash the TOGA button....and of course have a good book to read.
In the spirit of Johnathan Swift's "A modest proposal", the problem could be overcome by determining an acceptable casualty rate to cover the events where the presence of a live body could have otherwise recovered from a 'infelicitous' series of unforeseen events. One could establish a monetized valuation of the loss of an aircraft and complement, and cost out alternatives to having pilots aboard. ;-)
I can't believe anyone is responding to this article as if it were possible or even real. Give your heads a shake and let's do some real reporting rather then playing with the comedic elements for "the onion".
Everybody has got to pop off every now and then. It is good for stress relief, no matter how tacky it may be. LOL. Besides, it helps the Onion stay in business.
Oh I love the story, it is funny, I just can't believe some of these people believe the story. The Onion is satire at its finest. It is where cracked and Mad left off from the 1990's.
Seeing that FAR 25.841a requires a maximum cabin altitude of 8,000 ft I find it difficult to estimate the pressure differential on the mid cabin bulkhead between 1st/Business class and economy that would support a pressure differential of some 1000pounds/sq foot to pressurize the forward cabin at the expense of economy class.
Furthermore, I find the last sentence very interesting: "Parker added that the company is also planning to discontinue complimentary landing gear on flights under four hours." I wonder how they plan to land the aircraft without landing gear on shorter flights?
You got it.... Just think of the fuel savings when you don't have to blow air into the cabins from the Bleed Air... and at Altitude, you could probably make a killing on renting blankets.... Probably get $100 an hour during the Northern Winter Months.
Will it be complementary coffins on arrival for frequent flyers? Such BS could and will cause panic for the uninformed. Shame on whoever thought that this was funny.
Definitely more than one... LOL, I mentioned it to one person who could not believe they could do such a thing... I told him it was an onion joke.. Had to spell it out... Some people will fall for anything.
Come on Mr Mama, it is inane pap and not worthy of this site. If I want funny then I will go to a site that has a format to humour me.......and, stop talking about my weight!!
my buddy's mother-in-law makes $77 /hour on the internet . She has been unemployed for 9 months but last month her pay was $12751 just working on the internet for a few hours. try this site........ www.bay89.com
Any more reduction to moronic humour like this and I fancy I will cancel my receipt of emails from Flight Aware. What is it with people these days...if you ain't got sensible stories to tell don't fill up the space with pap!
I'm sorry FA Squawks did not live down to your expectations? You showed remarkable fortitude for sticking it out for 6 months. May I suggest the Fox News feed, sometimes it's better than the Onion.
This is not funny. People rely on FlightAware for real and timely information, not humor. These pages should be taken down immediately. Such postings are inappropriate and irresponsible, even for April Fool's day (April 1, not March 1, May 1, or any date whatsoever), and may be damaging to the airlines and businesses that are targeted, as well as the users of this website.
This is not funny. People rely on FlightAware for real and timely information, not humor. These pages should be taken down immediately. Such postings are inappropriate and irresponsible, even for April Fool's day (April 1, not May 1), and may be damaging to the airlines and businesses that are targeted, as well as the users of this website.
Michael, are you for real! Me having flown since I was 8 years old starting on Eastern Airlines, when we got real metal knives and forks with real plates, and real food from BDL to DCA. People actually dressed up to travel on planes. It was actually fun to fly commercially. Now airports are armed camps. You are lucky if there is a laundry basket with brown bag food waiting for passengers to pick up as they cross the bridge to tiny seats, from an airport that looks like it's in a 3rd world country. This is absolutely hilarious. That which is going on now with airlines and their service is "inappropriate and irresponsible, and they deserve every bit of ribbing they get. You never experienced the good old days when planes actually took off when a cloud blew over the airport, instead of shutting down an engine while waiting on a taxiway for the air to be perfectly still, for takeoff. 2hour delays in the terminal and another no a taxi way for departure. Airlines locking passengers in planes for hours upon hours, no food, water overflowing bathrooms. That's inappropriate and irresponsible.
Dear Flightaware: Has anyone gone to the trouble of verifying such a ridiculous claim? Surely you wouldn't want to incur the wrath of an old line air carrier because of a joke. To Zachary Colescott: Can you show proof that this is a fact? The Onion is hardly a place to find correct facts. Did you bother to do any fact checking at all?
Frank...The airlines have been scutinized for years. Nothing is good enough for the flying public. This has been going on for 20 years! People get pissed because they can't get a low "AirFare"! It's a mean world ot there in the aviation industy. The "Flying Public"...got what they asked for. Low fares.. and they didn't expect oil prices to go through the roof! InFlight Service suffered because of the cost to get you from "A" to "B"....the Airlines had to make up the difference, and You got what you asked for! Get over it! It is what it is and accept it! The "satire" from " the Onion" is just a way to put comedy and laughter to an industry that has been in a tail-spin for sometime! Try to get over it and deal with it and laugh! It's good for the soul! Happy flying to you!
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